Why Expensive Vegetables Are The Best Excuse To Eat Dessert First
People love pretending Thanksgiving is about balance. A little turkey, a little stuffing, a little green vegetable that no one asked for but everyone politely moves around the plate. That is the myth.
Then the grocery store reveals the truth. The price of vegetables jumped so high that buying a bag of green beans now feels like applying for a mortgage. Suddenly, dessert stops looking indulgent and starts looking responsible. A slice of pie becomes financial wisdom. A scoop of whipped cream, practically a coupon.
If vegetables are going to act fancy, dessert can finally take its rightful place as a main dish.
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The Produce Section Has Lost Its Mind
Walk through the produce aisle in late November and you will feel it. Brussels sprouts priced like jewelry. Green beans bundled like artisanal decor. Carrots behaving like they attended an elite prep school.
You hold a bundle of asparagus and swear someone mislabeled it with a luxury tax. You put it back. You pick it up again. You put it back again. Eventually you whisper, Not today, and walk away like you dodged a scam.
Meanwhile, the bakery section calls to you softly, like a sugar-coated lighthouse.
Why Dessert Suddenly Feels Practical
Here is the strange part. The dessert section barely changed its prices. Pie crusts are not plotting against your wallet. Pumpkin filling is still living its best, affordable life. Even whipped topping remains chill, which is more than we can say for the broccoli.
In simple holiday math: - 8 dollar sweet potatoes = emotional crisis
- 6 dollar pumpkin pie = victory
- 4 dollar whipped topping = celebration
At some point the brain decides, Look, dessert is clearly the responsible choice here.
A Micro Story About Dessert Survival
A cousin of mine went shopping last year and came home furious. She had just paid 7 dollars for celery. Celery. The one vegetable that tastes like crunchy disappointment. She slammed it on the counter and announced, Next year I'm skipping this and making cheesecake.
This year? She bought no celery. She made the cheesecake. Everyone cheered. No one missed the celery. This is the future we deserve.
Don't Do This
Do not tell your extended family you are skipping vegetables entirely without preparing a backup explanation. Some relatives treat vegetables like a moral requirement. They will ask questions. They will raise eyebrows. They will perform a nutritional intervention.
When this happens, just say something neutral like, The store was out, which is technically not a lie because the store was out of reasonably priced vegetables.
Dessert Brings People Together
Vegetables divide a table. Dessert unites it.
No one says, You made this pie again? No one says, Is this sugar organic? No one says, This frosting tastes too bold.
Dessert is the Switzerland of Thanksgiving dishes. It keeps the peace. It asks for nothing. It pleases everyone except the person who pretends to be watching their sugar, but even they end up asking for half a slice.
How To Make Dessert The Star Without Admitting It
There are subtle strategies: - Bring two pies and call one of them technically a breakfast option.
- Serve dessert before the main meal and call it a palate warm-up.
- Announce that you read an article claiming pies were part of the original Thanksgiving, which no one will verify.
- Make a fruit crumble and insist it counts as serving fruit.
No one argues with fruit crumble.
Conclusion
Vegetables went fancy this year, but dessert stayed loyal. Dessert did not inflate. Dessert did not betray you. Dessert did not require peeling or emotional strength. Dessert simply waited, patient and humble, for you to choose joy.
This Thanksgiving, let the veggies be dramatic somewhere else. Pick up a fork. Pick up a slice. Start with dessert without shame.
You are not avoiding vegetables. You are avoiding financial stress.
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